The picture I just reblogged is a summary of my feelings for the past few months. I was driving back to Milwaukee the other day with a friend from Illinois and we were discussing this exact concept. I truly don’t know where home is for me anymore in terms of it as a concept and not a place. As a place, I guess it would be Illinois but other than that it gets a bit fuzzy. The past couple of trips back and forth have just really made me feel sad and empty and confused about it all. I don’t feel like either place is home to me. Going back to Illinois is nice because of the familiarity and reliability of the people and places there but once I get there I feel so restless and just itch to get out. But then when the only place to go is Milwaukee I’m so torn. I didn’t like Milwaukee at all when I first came here for school and while it’s definitely grown on me, it’s nowhere near a high enough level for me to want to stay here past graduation next year (holy shit, I graduate next year !!!). When I’m at “home” in Illinois I can’t wait to go back to my “home” in Milwaukee, but as soon as I get in my car and start heading back I immediately feel melancholy and start my count down for the next time I’ll be “home.” No where really feels like home anymore and it’s for different reasons for each place. I can just hope that everything will work out one way or another and I’ll find somewhere that is home to me and I’ll feel sad leaving it for long periods and short periods of time and won’t want to leave as soon as I get back to it. It’s just a confusing topic for me I guess (a lot of things seem that way these days).
So here's my 2013 blog. New year, new goals and a new journey to get where I'm going.
Alright kids, first “official” post of 2013…Given that it’s new years day and last night was all about new year’s eve festivities, this post is going to be mostly about drunk people. Hear me out now…drunk people are so complex to me. Seeing someone you know really well drunk for the first time is always quite the experience. But more than that, drunk people are usually like little kids. They have no filter, they just say and do what comes to mind without thinking and I think that’s what makes them so interesting (and frustrating). You really do get to see another side of someone when they’re just a little tipsy and that completely evolves into a new person once they’re just shit faced. You find out interesting facts that are just a bit snarky and hurtful and kind of suck when you’re nowhere near as inebriated and will definitely remember all of the events in full clarity the next day. Hearing the truth about yourself if never fun when it’s stuff you don’t want to hear or when it’s coming from someone who is a good friend. It’s just interesting to see the different sides of people that come out when they have some good ole booze in their system.
And on the topic of people and their personalities and what not, it’s really intriguing to think about how people do or don’t change. Just think about the people you’ve stayed close to after high school and how you’ve noticed they’ve changed. Then think about how much people you knew but didn’t really keep in touch with have changed. You can see it on facebook and twitter and chronicle how these people’s lives have changed but maybe not see it as clear with people you’re close to. Then, if you’re really brave, look at your own changes and acknowledge what’s different and how who you are has changed from just a few years ago. I always wonder what differences my life would have if just one thing had been different. What if I had been closer friends with this person? What if hadn’t picked this school or applied to this job or met this person? It’s amazing to think of how many factors really go into making you who you are and it’s astounding and slightly overwhelming to think about how important every detail is.
Well that’s enough real talk for now, it’s time to waste time and turn my brain to mush with senseless tv!!
So this is where I’m going to be writing all about my adventures during 2013. Yes, it’s probably cliché and what not but it’s not only a way to talk about my days but in a more selfish way it’s also a way for me to see how the year goes for me and all of the things I learned from it at the end! So, you’ll find entries about my days, weeks, months, experiences overall as well as some pictures and gifs and goodies that I think are always good reminders in life. Oh and I’ll probably post stuff that I think is pretty or cute too. Ya know, whatever I’m feeling. So stick around, read my words separated by too many commas, look at some pictures, and learn some more about me. This is my journey through 2013 towards whatever life will bring me :]